Hurtbae:Don’t Let Infidelity Destroy You

hurt-bae-1487224098Your career is rising, your diet and exercise routine has paid off, you are in a good place spiritually, mentally, and physically and then BOOM! You’re blindsided by the news that your partner has cheated on you. You have just gone from being on top of the world to a train wreck. Should you be angry, hurt, insecure or a combination of all three? Nothing can destroy you like being cheated on in a relationship. You give someone your trust, and they take advantage of it. Here are four simple tips inspired by Aaron Jones short story Electrorelax about how to not let infidelity destroy you.

Remember who you are

The natural reaction when you have been cheated on is to spite the person who has hurt you. You believe nothing will give you satisfaction more than putting on your freakum dress and creating your own reality television show on snapchat, Instagram, twitter, and facebook for your cheating partner and all of their friends to see. You want nothing more than to show them what they have lost and how reckless your behavior can be. You hope they will be infuriated by your irresponsible behavior, but the truth is they won’t care. Your ex will see your behavior and justify to themselves, their friends, and family why they left you in the first place. Also, it is just not in your character to behave so ratchet. You are a proud highly motivated person so don’t lose yourself because a loser did not appreciate you.

Slow Down

The worst part about being cheated on is that while you are hurt, you can’t help but think they are out having fun with someone else. Here you are in a pool of tears, but you are thinking they are somewhere fulfilling all their fantasies. The same fantasies you were not good enough to fulfill. Insecurity sets in and in a moment of weakness you allow yourself to be vulnerable. Next thing you know you have shared your body with someone you would never consider in a million years. You feel good at the moment, but afterward, you are disgusted by your behavior. Even worse you have added another body to your sex list, and you still have not got over the person that hurt you. Slow down, and allow yourself to heal before you move on. It is ok to be hurt but running to sleep with someone else because you were cheated on is only going to destroy your self-esteem.

Don’t Blame Yourself

Closure, Closure, Closure! You need closure. You need to know what is that you did that made this person unfaithful. You want to know how can someone say they love you and hurt you so much. You want to know why a person could betray you so much? You want to know when this person decided that you were not enough. You want to know where did all this foolishness take place. Unanswered questions can lead you to doubt yourself more than your cheating ex. Blaming yourself because your ex was stupid for not appreciating you is only going to destroy you. You are beautiful, intelligent, and everything you should be as a partner. It is not your fault that your partner had insecurities within themselves and decided cheating was the answer. Love yourself and focus on being a better you.

Know when it’s time

You gotta know when to fold em and know when to hold em. When a person cheats on you the worst thing you can do is give them the power to decide whether you should break up or stay together. You are the master of your own destiny. Any relationship decisions should solely be left up to you. You were the offended party, and because of that, you have the power to go or stay. Nothing can destroy a person more in a relationship than staying too long or begging someone to break up with you because you don’t have the heart to do it yourself. Boss up and make the decision to go or stay for yourself.

Being the victim of infidelity is never an easy thing, but allowing a cheater to destroy you is even worse. In the book, Electrorelax December finds herself the victim of infidelity which causes some severe insecurity within her. Walk in confidence, you may have been cheated on, but you will be victorious in the end. Don’t be #hurtbae be #happybae.

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