Are you having trouble with your relationship? Do you and your partner argue so much you feel like you’re on a debate team? Frustrated and ready to give up on love? Are you considering breaking up with your partner or cheating? Let’s face it relationships are hard, but they are not impossible. Here are a few quick tips that if put into practice can save any relationship.
Get rid of unrealistic expectations. There you are scrolling down your timeline seeing captions like #goals #bae #love under photos of two people who look absolutely in love. You turn on the television, and you see images of the perfect relationship. Newsflash people are not perfect, and neither are relationships. The couples you are viewing on social media are only revealing what they want you to see. Relationships on television are just a fictional story. Don’t let fantasy dictate your reality. Stop expecting your partner to meet these unrealistic expectations that you could never meet. Instead, try putting yourself in your partner’s shoes. Would you like it if your partner placed those same unrealistic expectations on you? Would you like it if your partner expected you to be perfect? Drop the unrealistic expectations and let your relationship become human.
Communication is goals. There is an old expression that says “Closed mouths don’t get fed.” Well in relationships if you do not communicate what you need, what you desire, what you expect, then how can your partner know. Talk to your partner express yourself to them but remember communication is a two-way street. Allow your partner to receive your message, interpret it, and then provide feedback. If your partner is not understanding, then clarify for them. Also, to be an effective communicator, you must be a good listener. Learn how to listen to your partner so that way everyone is being heard. Please don’t ever underestimate small talk. Small talk is key to any successful relationship. Talk about anything ranging from the weather, social media, politics, television, to your crazy coworkers. The more small talk you have, the better friendship you build. Stop making communication always about the hard and weighty topics. Learn to shoot the breeze with the person you love.
Study your partner. In the game of Dominos, there is an expression which says “Study long, study wrong.” Well, in relationships if you study long you are studying right. The most valuable thing you possess in this world is your time. Since you are giving your partner your time, then you should make an investment in making that time valuable. The way to invest is to study your partner. Learn your partner’s dislikes, learn their likes, learn their trigger words, learn their favorite things, learn, learn, and LEARN! The more you know about your partner, the better off you will be. You will be able to create a more empathetic, compassionate, and romantic relationship. You will be able to see when the mood changes when your partner is having a rough day, how to relieve your partner’s stress, and you will make yourself the go-to person for your partner. Relationships are a test, and if you study your subject, you will Ace the test every time.
Master the triangle offense. Phil Jackson has won multiple NBA championships using the triangle offense, and this method can also spell success in your relationship. You and your partner both represent one side of the base of a triangle. If you and your partner are in sync and have a common goal, then your relationship will grow towards that goal and create the point of the triangle. How can two walk together unless they agree? So, learn to agree with your partner on the destiny of your relationship and always work towards that goal together. Teamwork makes the dream work.
Forgiveness is your choice. Being mistreated sucks and nobody wants to be on the receiving end of pain. It is human instinct to avoid pain and to seek the pleasure. However, at all cost never let your pleasure be the source of your partner’s pain. Granted humans are imperfect, and there will always be disappointing moments but if you are going to make your relationship work, then you must understand forgiveness. You are under no obligation to forgive someone for hurting you but if you are going to honestly decide after you have been hurt to stay with your partner then choose to forgive. Forgiveness does not mean you will forget or the pain will go away because forgiveness is continual. You may have to make a choice to forgive someone every day. I know your thinking does this person deserve my forgiveness? That is a choice that you should make, but forgiveness does have benefits. For example, forgiveness allows you to let go of the anger and begin the healing process. The longer you live in forgiveness, the more you punish yourself so let it go. Also, if you forgive your partner, they may be so moved by your love and compassion that they become a better partner to you. They may become the best partner of all time because they will always know how much and how powerful you love them to be able to forgive them. Let forgiveness be your choice.
Follow these steps, and you are on your way to relationship goals. It could be you who is taking pictures with your partner in the next few months writing #goals.